| Posted: 23 May 2006 20:46 |
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made this upp, naturally.
comic book style. sorta
part 1--death
(flashes of scary opera)
bruce- i want to leave. (looking worried)
thomas wayne- yeah, yeah alright. (surpiresd but understanding)
mrs. wayne- whats wrong?
thomas- it was me, I--
Joe chill--HEY! th-throw me your wallet! (close up on gun--close up on face)
thomas- it's ok.. just calm down, calm down (close up on face--close up arm pushing bruce behind him. close up on joe looking hesitant)
thomas-here...(close up face. 'drops wallet' close up on joes hand grabbing it.)
thomas- it's alright thant's fine...(close up on face)
joe- and the jewelry! (shifts gun to mrs. wayne (close up on thomas)
thomas-n...(BAM!) (medium close up on mr. and mrs. wayne as flash of gun happens) (wide shot ground--thomas's body hit gorund from same view.)
mrs. wayne--aaaaaaaahhhhh! (BAM!)(same view flas--body hits ground.)
(close up on joe's face 'reluctant and scared')
(close up joe's feet 'starts running'--view of alley'joes back turned running')
(close up bruce's face--close up of knees and hands as knees hit ground)
(bird's eye view of bruce kneeling next to dead parents)
TWO WEEKS EARLIER
joe narrative- i feel good about this one. i KNOW i got this one.
contued(ctd)-funny sort of. i'd only be a sales clerk but that is a whole lot more than a lot of people in this city. i'm an optimist.
(bird's eye view joe walking down street)
narrative ctd-even bought a nice jacket. i'm not gonna lose my mind. i read stories everyday of people goin to prison cuz they shot someone for a couple bucks. that reminds myself how lucky i am.
(close up joe's face as he walks into store)
(long shot joe stepping into store-- close up manager looking at joe)
(close up joe 'looking anxious')
manager-- relax eh, the job is yours
(close up joe's face)
narrative ctd-i wanna jump with joy. i have a job. makes sense. no way it coulda ben hoover. the guy's served 3 times in arkham, he's a nut
(long shot , tough looking guy in suit going to manageer--close up whispering something into manager's ear. close up manger's face as he nods)
narrative ctd-what's going on? i dont know why but i have a bad feeling. Paul's face drops. oh no.
manager (paul)-there's been a mistake, hoover's got the job. (long shot smirking mob boss walks past a weak kneed joe)
paul-sorry joe
narrative ctd-i can't breathe, i--i (close up joe looking crestfallen)
mob boss-hey, $#!^ happens. here, take my card.
(close up mob boss looking at joe--close up hand with card)
(long shot, hoover walks in happily)
to be ctd.......
__________________"You...complete me."
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| Posted: 23 May 2006 22:39 |
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 cool
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| Posted: 25 May 2006 19:06 |
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just a sec, it wouldnt let me edit it at the time, but i copied it and am going to try and paste it,.
__________________"You...complete me."
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| Posted: 25 May 2006 19:08 |
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made this upp, naturally.
comic book style. sorta
part 1--death
(flashes of scary opera)
bruce- i want to leave. (looking worried)
thomas wayne- yeah, yeah alright. (surpiresd but understanding)
mrs. wayne- whats wrong?
thomas- it was me, I--
Joe chill--HEY! th-throw me your wallet! (close up on gun--close up on face)
thomas- it's ok.. just calm down, calm down (close up on face--close up arm pushing bruce behind him. close up on joe looking hesitant)
thomas-here...(close up face. 'drops wallet' close up on joes hand grabbing it.)
thomas- it's alright thant's fine...(close up on face)
joe- and the jewelry! (shifts gun to mrs. wayne (close up on thomas)
thomas-n...(BAM!) (medium close up on mr. and mrs. wayne as flash of gun happens) (wide shot ground--thomas's body hit gorund from same view.)
mrs. wayne--aaaaaaaahhhhh! (BAM!)(same view flas--body hits ground.)
(close up on joe's face 'reluctant and scared')
(close up joe's feet 'starts running'--view of alley'joes back turned running')
(close up bruce's face--close up of knees and hands as knees hit ground)
(bird's eye view of bruce kneeling next to dead parents)
TWO WEEKS EARLIER
joe narrative- i feel good about this one. i KNOW i got this one.
continued(ctd)-funny sort of. i'd only be a sales clerk, but even that's a whole lot more than a lot of people in this city. i like to think of myself as an optimist.
(bird's eye view joe walking down street)
narrative ctd-even bought a nice jacket. i'm not gonna lose my mind. i read stories everyday of people goin to prison cuz they shot someone for a couple bucks. that reminds myself how lucky i am. keep's me on the right path
(close up joe's face as he walks into store)
(long shot joe stepping into store-- close up manager looking at joe)
(close up joe 'looking anxious')
manager-- relax eh, the job is yours (close up manager smerking)
(close up joe's face)
narrative ctd-i wanna jump with joy. i have a job. makes sense. no way it coulda ben hoover. the guy's served 3 times in arkham, he's a nut
(long shot , tough looking guy in suit (henchman) going to manager--close up whispering something into manager's ear. close up manger's face as he nodswearily)
manager says quietly-woulda ben niceto know a lttle sooner eh?!
narrative ctd-what's going on? i dont know why but i have a bad feeling. Paul's face drops. oh no.
manager (paul)-th..there's been a m-mistake, hoover's got the job. (long shot smirking hench man walks past a weak kneed joe)
paul-sorry, joe...sorry
narrative ctd-i can't breathe, i--i (close up joe looking crestfallen-- long shot as he throwes himself out the door--hench man follows)
hench man-hey, $#!^ happens. here, take my card.
(close up hench man smirking at joe--close up hand with card)
(long shot, hoover walks in wiht a knowing smile on his face)
narrative ctd-they set this up! they hand out jobs for hits!! they blackmailed paul, they they...
joe- YOU PIECE OF CRAP!! YOU RIGGED THIS! YOU SCREWED ME OVER!!! I WON'T BECOME ONE OF YOUR LOUSY LITTLE HIT--(close up joe screaming)
(WHAP!)(closeup joe getting punched by hench man)
(long shot joe falling hard)
hench man-you shouldn't talk about what doesn't concern you, or one day you may find youself under a tombstone.
narrative ctd-he punches me hard. he talks openly about the mob in the middle of a crowded street, and nobody does anything
(long shot joe lying on street--close up joes face 'lip bleeds')
hench man- in case you get your priorities sttraight...(close up face--closeup hand flicking card onto joe--joe first person view, card falling--long shot hoover hangs head out door)
hoover-ay! tell the boss thanks fer me, falcony!
henchman(falcony)-the boss doesn't waste time on thank you's. this is your pay. you don't know who we are. you've never seen us. yer finished (close up hench man'head turned'--close up on hoover)
hoover-right!, right!
(bord's eye view, joe lying in street)
__________________"You...complete me."
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| Posted: 25 May 2006 19:08 |
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there, the refined and extended yet unfinished edition.
__________________"You...complete me."
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| Posted: 25 May 2006 19:45 |
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thumbs up!
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| Posted: 27 May 2006 17:35 |
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very creative two im currently thinking of a chacter so far i have a name Lord Massacre
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| Posted: 27 May 2006 17:49 |
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but to tell the truth. my first origin i came up with was to much like spawns now i might change the name too. because i think "Lord Massacre" sound to much like a brutal Anti hero. And if i called him that i proably would be deemed a hypocrite since im more of a traditional hero fan myself. i would like to keep my hero more simple like the stories Stan Lee came up with in the sixties.
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| Posted: 28 May 2006 15:01 |
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a shorter, two syllable name is preffered also. for instance, spider-man, superman, xmen, all two syllable, or even one syllable, like storm, flash, hulk
__________________"You...complete me."
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| Posted: 29 May 2006 22:32 |
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oh you mean like lord-massacre.
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| Posted: 31 May 2006 15:22 |
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well thaz fine, but it's long. four syllables. lord-mas-a-cre
pound your fist to it and you'll see what i mean
__________________"You...complete me."
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Superhero Collectibles
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