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Posts: 1674
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Okay so I didn't want to start a new thread for this but I've begun working on my epic fantasy story again. Below is the new prologue. It is also now titled Dragonian: The Lost Heir.
Anyway wanted your guys' opinion on this again. What do you guys think?
Prologue:
The aroma of rotting flesh stifled the battlefield. The decaying corpses that comprised the Lich King’s horde were overwhelming the human resistance by sheer numbers. Sir Kane, commander of the 8th Legion, spurred his paladins on with words of encouragement and promises of victory, but the flesh eating zombies on the opposing side moved with quickness and an eagerness not matched by their human opponents.
“Hold the line” Sir Kane shouted “we must stand fast until the elves arrive. We are all that stands between them and the village of Toscana!”
Elves, mysterious woodland creatures from the Far East, lithe of body and fleet of foot were due to arrive any moment. Their guerilla tactics served them well in their forest homes. But even out in the open their speed made them extremely hard targets as they used hit and run methods of delivering a swift death.
“What if the elves don’t show?” asked one of the paladins as he crushed a zombie’s skull with his war hammer.
“Then we fight to the death, Thaddeus, we fight to the death!”
At that moment arrows flew forth from the tree line of the Westside and rained down amongst the undead. The zombies merely shrugged off the first wave, even as the arrows protruded from their bodies, and continued their march against the 8th Legion.
Thaddeus and the other paladins exchanged nervous glances. Sir Kane tried to strengthen their resolve with more encouragement even against the ever looming threat of death.
Suddenly out of the trees rushed twenty to thirty elves wielding scimitars. They cut through the zombie horde with efficiency unknown to the humans. Two hundred plus zombies fell almost instantly and then the elves were back into the trees. Using the forest as cover the elves unleashed another round of arrows into the midst of the battle.
With renewed hope the legionnaires pushed forward swinging their broadswords and war hammers in an effort to crush the zombies once and for all. That’s when the tide turned even more against the 8th Legion and their elfish allies. From the North mounted on skeletal steeds rode the black cloaked Reapers.
These death knights charged forward swinging their sickle bladed scythes decapitating paladins left and right. Their commander sat upon his black steed and watched his troops from the relative safety of a small knoll. He held his serrated edged sword in his right hand and a kite shield in his left. The blood red helm upon his head all but concealed his face in darkness.
“Lodar” Sir Kane spat the name out as if it were poison “how dare the Breaker of Oaths show himself. Thaddeus take charge of the men. I am going to end that miserable traitor’s life once and for all.”
“Be careful my friend” Thaddeus said in return and then he went off to give orders to the paladins.
Sir Kane spurred his horse on and rode swiftly up the hill to where Lodar still sat “Oathbreaker! Did I not warn you what would happen next time I saw you?”
Lodar laughed heartily at this and removed his helmet revealing his deformed face “I remember too well brother. But there is nothing more you can do to hurt me. The Lich King has given me immortality.”
Kane grunted in reply and swung his sword down in an effort to cleave his brother’s head from his shoulders. Lodar blocked the blow with his shield and then retaliated in kind with his own sword. Kane blocked the serrated edge with the flat of his blade and turned the blow aside. Then the two of them dismounted and faced each other grimly.
“Mother would not approve of our quarrelling” Lodar said offhandedly as he stepped towards his brother.
Sir Kane took a step back and gripped his sword with both hands “you have no right to speak of her anymore murderer. If not for you she would still be alive. You will pay for your treachery!”
The blades rang out in the metallic clang of combat as the two adversaries attacked and counter attacked each other instinctively knowing every move the other was about to make. Years of training together accomplished this feat for they learned each other’s swordsmanship style perfectly. Neither one would gain ground against the other for they were too evenly matched.
“You are too predictable brother” Lodar laughed “you should have trained harder to prepare for this inevitable confrontation.”
Kane grimaced in pain as the serrated edge dug into his shoulder “I have right on my side. I will prevail!”
The crimson helmed traitor yanked his sword free causing even more pain to his enemy. Then he kicked hard with his metal boot connecting with Kane’s abdomen knocking the air from his lungs. Kane struggled to lift his broadsword for another strike but the pain in his shoulder burned as if on fire and he dropped the sword.
“Poison edged steel brother” Lodar explained “it will eat away at your flesh until nothing remains. It is I who am victorious this day!”
The commander of the Reapers threw down his shield and lifted his serrated sword high with both hands “I will make your death quick for old times’ sake.”
As the killing blow came down Kane covered his head in his arms. But the blow didn’t land. He chanced a look only to find Lodar tumbling down the knoll after being kicked in the side by Kane’s own horse.
The paladin grabbed the horse’s reigns and pulled himself to his feet. Then he petted the beast’s neck.
“Thank you Silver Mane” he whispered to the horse as he climbed back into the saddle only to then pass out from the pain.
From the raging battle below Thaddeus watched as his friend and commander struggled onto his horse. Ordering the other paladins to continue the fight he urged his own horse towards the aid of Sir Kane.
From the forest the elves continued their strikes until the last of the zombies fell beneath their assault. Seeing his undead warriors losing this battle, Lodar shouted to the Reapers ordering a retreat.
“Let the zombies fall” Lodar commanded “our liege can always conjure up more of them. We have accomplished our primary mission. Sir Kane will not live through the night.”
As the Reapers rode off towards the North from which they came the paladins cheered halfheartedly in their victory, for even though they halted the Lich King’s horde they also lost many a good soldier this day.
Thaddeus placed Sir Kane comfortably upon the grassy knoll and looked at his wounds with regret “the infection is already spreading. And we have no healers on hand to treat you.”
“No matter, just promise me you will find the Oathbreaker and make him pay!”
“Of course my friend, I will make it my utmost priority.”
“Move aside paladin” an elf said moving up from behind in startling silence “let me see the wound.”
Thaddeus moved out of the way warily and watched the elf work. The forest dweller pulled strange herbs from a pouch and mashed them into the wound. Then he chanted something in the elfish tongue and placed a dressing over the wound.
“He will live but he will never be able to wield a sword again” the elf spoke softly “I have stopped the spread of infection but his arm may need to be amputated. That is the best I can do.”
Just as quickly as he appeared the elf took off back down the hill to rejoin his own people as they disappeared back into the forest. Thaddeus watched him go in silence. He was grateful that his friend would live but also saddened by their losses this day.
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Duo attack. Lolz
